1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,805 Max, did you pick up the tip from table two? 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:09,577 No, but I'm pretty sure i picked up a staph infection. 3 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,481 So they literally gave me their two cents worth. 4 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,682 This is so embarrassing, 5 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:18,686 even Abe Lincoln won't make eye contact. 6 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,489 Girls, I need you to do something for me. 7 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,391 You know the rule: Nothing for you, 8 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:27,128 on you, near you, or in us. 9 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,630 I'm going to restroom. Keep eye on the kitchen. 10 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,300 I have a four-minute egg and a five-minute date 11 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:35,769 with the sports illustrated swimsuit issue. 12 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,508 Hey, do you see what I see? 13 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,542 A fire? 14 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,512 No, a way out of this job. 15 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:49,150 Lord Jesus, there's a fire. 16 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,385 You two gonna do anything about that? 17 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,820 'Cause I'm not. 18 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:57,091 I don't mess with fire or presbyterians. 19 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,326 Fire, fire! 20 00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,693 I smell fire! 21 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,795 Well, don't just stand there. Do something! 22 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,699 We are. 23 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,701 S'mores! 24 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:11,205 You'd think you want this place to burn to the ground. 25 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,507 You'd think that. 26 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,176 Caroline, do something. 27 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,745 I'm on it. Chocolate? 28 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,884 (Caroline) Han, not too close. 29 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,320 You know you can never get the smell of Korean barbecue 30 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:28,122 out of your clothes. 31 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,693 [Shouting] 32 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,497 [Shouts weakly] 33 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,733 Either he put the fire out, 34 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,503 or that little robot just had an orgasm. 35 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,474 (peter bjorn and John) * ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 36 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:47,808 [cash register bell dings] 37 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,745 * ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh * 38 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,353 welcome to the high dessert bar. 39 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,323 I'm the hostess slash quasi-manager. 40 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,792 First day in, got a huge promosh. 41 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,160 I hate to brag, 42 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,162 but the word "dazzling" was used. 43 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,666 Yeah, by you. 44 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:16,237 Little to no power has really gone to your head. 45 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,371 It has. 46 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:20,941 She's like the putin of pastry. 47 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,410 But doesn't it feel good 48 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,512 to not just be working at the diner? 49 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:28,216 I haven't slipped on one used baby diaper all day. 50 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,851 Speaking of babies, 51 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,853 look, there's han. 52 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,261 That's, like, the third time 53 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,929 I caught him spying on us. 54 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:45,466 Why would he stalk two of his worst employees? 55 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,400 I know. 56 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,801 It's like where's Waldo? 57 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,871 When you don't want to find Waldo. 58 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,941 Not seeing a hostess up in here. 59 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,277 She meant quasi-manager. 60 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,978 If Marty scorsese walks in here, 61 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,613 do you want him to seat himself? 62 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,416 He'll be lost. Lost. 63 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,685 Sorry, Joe, I was just over there giving Max... 64 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,687 Honey, I'll download an audiobook 65 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,690 if I want to hear a story. 66 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,359 I want you to meet someone. 67 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,727 Me too, and I'm sure i will when the time is right 68 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,397 and I'm open to it. 69 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,399 Kind of focusing on me right now. 70 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,301 Stop. 71 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,703 Learn to read faces. 72 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,004 I'm not talking about you. 73 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,407 I'm talking about him. 74 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,709 [With Irish accent] Hello, pleasure to meet you. 75 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,777 I'm nashit. 76 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,445 Nashit's an Indian name, 77 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,581 and isn't that an Irish accent I detect? 78 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,249 Or have I just lost consciousness 79 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,518 from how white your teeth are? 80 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,586 Yes, it is. 81 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,921 My father's Indian. My mother's Irish. 82 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,356 He's Irish. He's Indian. 83 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,791 He's east meets west. 84 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,259 He's everything 85 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,962 in a hot Irish coffee, boy band package. 86 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,898 I found him on the street 87 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,701 next to a dirty chair. 88 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,004 Hi, I'm Caroline, the hostess slash quasi-manager 89 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,005 at the high. 90 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,040 Are you high? 91 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,476 'Cause that was a lot of talking. 92 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,279 Who is this, and where can I get one? 93 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,515 This is nashit, our new waiter. 94 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,916 Oh, it's lovely to meet you. 95 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,318 [Gasps] 96 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:13,987 Can you say "magically delicious"? 97 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,490 I really want nashit to work out. 98 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:19,627 I like it when good-looking people succeed. 99 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,463 Well, I guess that's good news for me. 100 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,298 Is it? 101 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,469 Hi, honey. 102 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,970 (Joe) Have you met the new waiter? 103 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,073 I love him. He's my favorite. 104 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,944 If I did men, he would've been done by now. 105 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,715 Hmm, so you think you're pretty. 106 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,584 Well, I do too. 107 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,620 Okay, nashit, pay attention. 108 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,822 These are the tables. This is the dessert bar. 109 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:52,860 And these are my boobs. 110 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,429 Max, be professional. 111 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,965 These are my boobs, sir. 112 00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,368 Please, I have to make him a waiter. 113 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,436 Fine, you make him a waiter, 114 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,705 and I'll just make him later. 115 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:13,647 Here you go. This isn't yours, is it? 116 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,584 No, because they already have dessert. 117 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,619 Damn it. 118 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,954 You asked for water, like, an hour ago, didn't you? 119 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,423 I'm so sorry. 120 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,992 Oh, don't you worry those lips. 121 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:29,830 And what's an hour when we have our whole lives ahead of us? 122 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,065 Max, I don't know what I'm gonna do. 123 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,667 I stink as a waiter. 124 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,436 This is desperate. 125 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,772 Well, desperate times call for us making out. 126 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,142 Hey, I have a question for you. 127 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,445 Your skin is so creamy and white. 128 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,013 You must have a little Irish in you. 129 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:50,117 I've had a lot of little irishes in me. 130 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,985 That's meant to be dirty, right? 131 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:55,656 Well, I just mean that I think you're quite beautiful. 132 00:05:55,689 --> 00:06:00,027 Oh, well, then I just mean we're doing it. 133 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,595 I did not think there was somebody 134 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,931 who had a prettier nose or was worse than me 135 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,899 waiting tables, but here we are. 136 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,869 Nashit, there's not a fork in the mix out there. 137 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:12,139 Now, get out there and fork those women. 138 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,441 Take it easy on him. 139 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,875 I don't him to be all forked out 140 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,877 by the time he gets to me. 141 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,680 I'm gonna have so much sex on my bed with nashit 142 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,949 that I'm gonna need a new sheet. 143 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,851 Aren't you too old for him? 144 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:27,855 Yeah, but that test said mentally I'm 14, 145 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,190 so we can totally do it. 146 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,192 Well, I'm off to Chinatown to have someone 147 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,127 put needles in me. 148 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,163 Oh, my god. I love your coat. 149 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,498 You look gorgeous. 150 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,600 I mean, the way it flows. 151 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,903 Okay, so I can see you're a kiss-ass, 152 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:43,937 so here's the thing. 153 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,606 As my quasi-manager, 154 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,576 or whatever nonsense you're telling people, 155 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,679 I need you to tell Max and nashit to cool it. 156 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,781 There are no hookups here at the high. 157 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,849 Done, and we can stop staying "quasi" 158 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,818 if we're both on board with the manager thing. 159 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,087 We're not. 160 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,722 The high is about fine pastry, 161 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,791 not someone's sordid love life. 162 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,126 And in an ironic twist, i need you to kick 163 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,995 my girlfriend's hot ass out of here 164 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,197 if she comes in. 165 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,899 Here's $100. 166 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,033 That's $100. 167 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,803 Consider her hot ass out the door. 168 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,237 We're in a fight. 169 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,139 She got drunk, stole my black card, 170 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,109 and bought 90 people soup at Barney greengrass, 171 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:25,078 and the soup isn't even good there. 172 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,649 Do not take this as a no, because I want the money, 173 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,551 but why can't you just tell her yourself? 174 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,819 I can't tell her myself. 175 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,087 She's younger than me, and everyone knows 176 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,724 the mommy thing just isn't sexy. 177 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,663 Make sure she eats something and gets home safe. 178 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,233 Caroline, I have a question for you. 179 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,502 What do I do with the notes the women give me? 180 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,070 You've gotten notes? 181 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,071 Just a few. 182 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,240 [Gasps] 183 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,176 How could women be this desperate? 184 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,546 Max, this one's from you. 185 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,848 They're mostly all from me, 186 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,249 except the business card. 187 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,651 I don't need no damn card 188 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,819 to let him know I'm all business. 189 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,722 Max, Joe just told me there are no hookups at the high, 190 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,725 and judging from this very detailed picture you drew, 191 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,260 that's exactly what you're planning. 192 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,263 Oh, I was planning more. I just ran out of paper. 193 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,831 We can't lose these jobs. 194 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,734 I have two $100 bills, and I'm this close 195 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,136 to pulling the trigger on an Amazon prime account. 196 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,605 Amazon prime? 197 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,740 You have been driven mad with power. 198 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,146 Fresh, flakey pastry. 199 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,615 And speaking of flakes, 200 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,150 there's Joe's flakey girlfriend. 201 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:41,088 Can someone help me get my chair off my coat? 202 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,690 How did she get in here? 203 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,826 Probably floated in on a cloud of valium. 204 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,896 It's go time, as in she's got to go. 205 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,632 You have a better chance moving an actual train wreck, 206 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,133 but good luck. 207 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:56,704 - Allie, hi, you... - Shh. 208 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,740 [Whispering] Allie, hi. 209 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,742 - You need... - Sorry. 210 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,811 But I am hungover, and I have a headache. 211 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,647 Could I get a latte with a side of weed? 212 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,616 No, because this isn't Amsterdam 213 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,684 or bill maher's house. 214 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,985 Now, you need to leave. 215 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,654 You know Joe doesn't want you in here. 216 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:14,655 Well, I'm not leaving. 217 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,923 My legs won't move 218 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,325 because my muscle relaxers just kicked in. 219 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,360 John, can you do me a favor? 220 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,795 Walk Allie outside, 221 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,363 and by that, i mean pick her up 222 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,098 and carry her outside. 223 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,100 I went to pastry school. 224 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,871 I'm not Shrek. 225 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,674 Of course not. You're much more Fiona. 226 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,075 Girl, that's good. 227 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,778 I was gonna say the donkey, 'cause I have a fine ass. 228 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,651 (Allie) Okay, fine. 229 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:47,855 Driver, two stops. Barney's and fro-yo. 230 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,696 (Max) Earl, we're late again. Did you keep us alive? 231 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:59,166 Max, I can barely keep myself alive. 232 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,702 This morning, i had to jump-start my heart 233 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,671 by putting my finger in the socket 234 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,706 tom and Jerry style. 235 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,776 Oh, hello. 236 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,711 So what did you girls do today? 237 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:14,247 I haven't seen you since right here last night. 238 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,849 Oh, really, han? 239 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,151 'Cause I swear i saw you lurking around 240 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,352 outside the high. 241 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,721 It was either you, 242 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:24,792 or pikachu is visiting New York. 243 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,694 That one barely grazed me, 244 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,728 because I'm Korean, 245 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,997 and pikachu is Japanese. 246 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,867 You don't know anything about pokemon. 247 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,705 Han, you may not be Japanese, 248 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,272 but in the future, you're definitely 249 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,442 gonna be poked by a mon. 250 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,211 And it was you. 251 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,713 No, it was not. 252 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,947 - Yeah, it was. - Wasn't. 253 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,115 - Was. - Wasn't. 254 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,818 - Wasn't. - Was... wasn't. 255 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,286 English is my second language. 256 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,855 Admit it, you're jealous 257 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,190 we're spending time with another restaurant. 258 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,826 I am not jealous. 259 00:10:58,859 --> 00:10:59,927 - Are so. - Am not. 260 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,294 - Am not. - Are so... not. 261 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,930 Oh, my god! 262 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,935 Caroline, what the hell are you doing? 263 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,903 I'm smelling a $100 bill. 264 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,471 It's from my other restaurant. 265 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,306 It buys me nice things. 266 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,108 Jealous? 267 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:18,178 I took you in when you had no one. 268 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,315 Hi, can you help me? 269 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,084 I'm looking for Max. 270 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:28,989 Why, hello. Is it too late to be gay? 271 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,490 Nashit? 272 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,793 Oh, my god, he even looks good here 273 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,062 in morgue light. 274 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,830 We are so doing it. 275 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,099 Caroline, you left your phone on the table 276 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,433 at the restaurant. 277 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,903 I confess, i used it as an excuse 278 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,337 to come and see Max. 279 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,807 This isn't mine. It's Joe's girlfriend's. 280 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,208 I don't have an iPhone 6. 281 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,143 I have an iPhone sick. 282 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:57,017 D-o-i-n-g it! 283 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,387 Max, why is nashit here? 284 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:04,491 Because god owes me. 285 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,960 You can't seriously be into him. 286 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,896 He looks like someone in a boy band. 287 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:12,833 Yeah, and he's going one direction... 288 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,071 Down there. 289 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,940 But if you sleep with him, 290 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,175 then nashit is gonna hit the fan. 291 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,277 How do you know you even like him? 292 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:28,215 You know what I like? That we're doing it. 293 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,151 Hey, everybody! 294 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,354 I just got hit by a cab, 295 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:39,526 and, boy, am I in the mood for crab legs. 296 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,494 The thing about you, baby... 297 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,464 You bounce back from a good pounding 298 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,267 every single night. 299 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,874 Wait a minute. 300 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,977 That's my booth. 301 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,046 Oh, it's lovely to meet you. 302 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,516 What? 303 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,987 What the hell kind of accent is that? 304 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,122 I'm from Ireland. 305 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,257 What? 306 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,894 Max, you are not doing it. 307 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:14,895 - Are. - Not. 308 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,096 - Are. - Not. 309 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,099 - Not. - Please, I went to wharton. 310 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,468 Look, we should go to your place when we do it 311 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,371 so that Caroline won't be there while we're doing it. 312 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:28,575 Lovely, but I just came to America two days ago. 313 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,310 I have no place to go. 314 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,880 In fact, I've been sleeping on that dirty chair 315 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:36,249 Joe spoke of. 316 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:40,220 What? 317 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,956 Is he singing? 318 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,592 Oh, my god. 319 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,328 He's gorgeous and homeless? 320 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,597 That's your dream guy. 321 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,033 We are so doing it! 322 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,008 Ugh, this is impossible. 323 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:05,178 I feel like I'm putting an Oscar dress on precious. 324 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,884 I'm making up the couch for nashit. 325 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,352 That is so nice of you. 326 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,487 He's gonna need a place to crash after we have sex. 327 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,223 No, that's off the table. 328 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,358 I can't believe you invited him to stay here. 329 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,127 And I can't believe you refused 330 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,531 to sleep at Starbucks tonight to give us some privacy. 331 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:28,335 I mean, you like Nora Jones. 332 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,304 [Whistling] 333 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,108 Max likey. 334 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:38,378 - Max, listen. - No, you listen. 335 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:43,683 I can't afford candy, so he has got to be it. 336 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,352 Thanks for the shower. 337 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,888 Oh, no, his muscles point to his penis. 338 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,228 [Knock at door] 339 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,997 Max, stop with the banging. 340 00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:01,969 I'm not letting you out while you're still in heat. 341 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,203 (Max) It's not me. 342 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,573 I'm making a list of ways to kill you! 343 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,677 I feel like I'm being a bother, 344 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:14,982 and I think I'm sleeping on a bong. 345 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,083 [Knock at door] 346 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,284 (Joe) Open up. 347 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,119 I know what's going on in there. 348 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,253 (Caroline) Oh, my god. 349 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,721 That's Joe. 350 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,091 She must've found out about you and Max hooking up. 351 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,225 (Nashit) Oh, no. 352 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,160 Max, Joe is here. 353 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,371 You need to do that thing you do 354 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,605 to scare people out of the hallway. 355 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,164 What do we think, guard dog 356 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,699 or little old lady with poor eyesight 357 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,101 and loaded gun? 358 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,703 [Max imitating dog barking] 359 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,138 Fine, I'm going. 360 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,373 This is why i never leave Manhattan. 361 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,575 Hey, you need to get in the girls' apartment? 362 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,311 I have a key. 363 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,346 Find it here in my big bag. 364 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,481 I know it's in here somewhere. 365 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,184 Well, I got the lip balm. 366 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:54,421 I got... oh, look, i got the holy Bible. 367 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,555 I got... 368 00:15:56,656 --> 00:16:00,727 Oh, look. Oh, the directv remote. 369 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,730 Oh, my god, I'm losing estrogen. 370 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,133 Max, you and nashit go hide in your room, 371 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,401 but no sex. 372 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,669 You heard her, no sex, 373 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,738 so everything but, and I mean everything, 374 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,240 and I mean but. 375 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,276 Oh, here it is. It's right... 376 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,213 It was right under the cold cuts the whole time. 377 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,084 (Joe) Caroline. 378 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,785 Hey. Hi, Joe. 379 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:30,523 Oh! 380 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,125 Yeah. 381 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,127 Ha! 382 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:38,731 Yeah, the shorter hair makes sense now. 383 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,333 (Sophie) Yeah. 384 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:43,370 Good for you, Caroline. 385 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,673 I hope you like long, boring stories. 386 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:51,211 Okay, where's Allie? I know she's here. 387 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,380 I put a spy app on her phone, 388 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:57,417 and I'm not proud of it, but I'm a jealous woman. 389 00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,387 Oh, her phone. I have it. 390 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,090 She left it at the high when I threw her ass out today 391 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,624 per your instructions. 392 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,259 I don't know how I thought this thing 393 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,827 was gonna work out to begin with. 394 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,296 We met at Coachella. 395 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,799 We were both on Molly, this intensely hot 396 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:16,703 Filipino girl. 397 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,838 - Shh, shh. - I'm hearing sexual sounds. 398 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:24,344 And hints of secret shame coming from the bedroom. 399 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,679 - Allie is here. - No, no one's here. 400 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,548 That's just our white noise machine. 401 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,750 I'm shocked. You're not even her type. 402 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,520 Your lips are like two flair-pen marks. 403 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,825 [Nashit laughs] 404 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,562 That's hot. 405 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,265 Please don't fire nashit! 406 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,168 The Dr. Seuss hats were my idea. 407 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:52,605 We were playing hop on pop. 408 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,741 I was pop. 409 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,876 I didn't even know there was a boy in there. 410 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,146 I only saw you. 411 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,682 Okay, since there are no hookups at the high, 412 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,885 if you don't stop sleeping with him immediately, 413 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,320 my new manager... 414 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,521 [Clicks tongue] 415 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,657 Caroline here is gonna have to kick 416 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,725 his beautiful butt to the curb. 417 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:17,497 But I was mid-doing-it! 418 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:21,234 Honey, there's a real funky smell in here. 419 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,735 I got to get out of here. 420 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:26,806 Ps, this is where you live? 421 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,775 Take another $100. 422 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,483 Earl, hi. 423 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,218 What kind of mood is Max in? 424 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,619 Pretty good. 425 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,389 On the Max scale, she's below slightly drunk 426 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,758 but above punching a customer out. 427 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,793 Oh, good. 428 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,361 I was worried she'd be mad at me 429 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,905 'cause I had to get rid of her boy toy. 430 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,499 Caroline, I'd put my hearing aids back in 431 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,901 if I wanted to hear a story. 432 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,471 Guess what I have for you in my purse. 433 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,507 The tampon i asked for last week? 434 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,742 No, and again, so sorry about that. 435 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,745 Really dropped that ball. 436 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,247 Gummy worms. 437 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,815 Yes, I took away your man candy, 438 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,584 but I got you these, the hot ones that you like 439 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:14,221 from the good candy store with the sneeze guards. 440 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,222 [Gasps] 441 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,423 Fancy. 442 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,624 And don't worry about nashit. 443 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,926 I got him another job. 444 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,661 Hot worm! 445 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:25,698 Clean glasses coming through. 446 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:26,666 Nice rack. 447 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:31,204 Now I know why guys like saying that to me. 448 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:32,439 There he is! 449 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,374 There's the new employee. 450 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,676 (Caroline) Han, I can't believe you would hire someone 451 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,545 just 'cause Max asked you to. 452 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,747 This has nothing to do with Max or you. 453 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,515 The boy here said something to me 454 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,417 that you two couldn't understand. 455 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,585 What's that, sir? 456 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,719 That I was a hard worker? 457 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,588 That's it! Yes! 458 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,922 Manna from heaven. 459 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,260 I actually have an employee who works. 460 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,561 Jealous? 461 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,597 Now, this job, i can do. 462 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,708 You know, growing up, i had five brothers and sisters, 463 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,568 and since I was the least attractive, 464 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,670 I had to clean all the dishes. 465 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,705 Meet you in the dish room, nashit. 466 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,307 Max, what are you doing? 467 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,975 There may not be hookups at the high, 468 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:12,445 but there are hookups here at our lowest low, 469 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:13,913 and we are doing it. 470 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,619 Caroline likey.